Sev & the Marauders: Catastrophes!
by 123342e354rtqertqgasgafg
Summary: As read in A Sleep Deprived Fanfiction: It's NOT Greasy!, Sev's a marauder now! And his adventures have just begun, what with rude gargoyles, silly nicknames and a brand new friendship.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Sooo a lot of y'all have been asking for it, so I'm gonna give you a couple little ficlets of Some Snape Marauder Adventure Catastrophes! : ) Ooooh, this WILL be fun.

Disclaimer- Is there anyone who would seriously think that I'm JK Rowling? Really? If there is, they must be a Hufflepuff! ZING! But seriously, I'm just a silly teenage girl who writes bad fan fiction and nothing more :'(

Snape and the Marauders! Catastrophe 1: Sev's First Prank

It was midnight on a Thursday; The perfect prank time for a newbie such as Severus. And what a newbie he was!

"Okay, so brainstorming for Sev's first prank starts Now!" James announced.

"Something involving a color changing charm!" Peter stated.

"Somewhere very public! Like in the Great Hall!" James added.

"Something that won't get us into too much trouble, please?" Remus added pleadingly.

"Remus, shush." Sirius said.

"How about I come up with my own prank..?" Severus suggested with sarcasm. Now that he actually knew the marauders, he figured out that they weren't as bright as people believed them to be. And when he talks, they all just kind of agree.

"Brilliant." Sirius said, obviously impressed.

"I like it." James agreed.

"Alright then.." Severus licked his lips, thinking of something to do that the marauders hadn't already done. "How about this! I charm the gargoyle in front of Dumbledore's office to make rude comments whenever someone says the password?"

"That's actually not too bad." Remus said thoughtfully. "Yeah, I think I know just the spell for that!" Now he was excited.

"Okay then, this is how we'll do it…"

**The Next Day **

Minerva McGonagall was briskly walking towards the Headmaster's office. Today was her birthday, and Dumbledore had requested her presence in his office as to give her a gift. She passed by the Gargoyle guarding the office, stating the password without stalling her pace.

"Lavender toad."

"Sure baby, I'll let you threw. As soon as you get that nose fixed! Bahahahahahaha!"

At this, the professor stopped.

"Pardon?"

"You heard me. Oh, and before you go, BRUSH YOUR TEETH LADY!" The Gargoyle began to cackle once more.

"Why, I never!" And she stormed away, forgetting the possibility of any birthday present.

Professor Binns was strolling down the hall. People never really noticed him, floating above them. And of course that led to rumors that he wasn't even aware of his own death and such. Which was certainly not true, seeing as he had committed suicide. Yes, he had been a very depressed man and sought to end it all. And then had been forced to "live" so to speak, even after death. The most brutal punishment. And it saddened him to think that the students had no respect for him or the subject he taught.

So his occasional visits to talk to Dumbledore really helped. He always left feeling better about himself, even though he was a ghost he had feelings too.

"Lavender Toad." He whispered.

"Alright, UGLY, in you go." The Gargoyle whispered back, mocking him.

"Excuse me?" Some might wonder why Professor Binns didn't just go through the door to the Headmaster's office. But just last week, Dumbledore had advised him to enter places as "humanly" as possible, so to make him feel like he fit in more among the living. And it had been working so far..

"Yeah that's right. I called you UGLY. Because you are. And hey, don't you teach History of Magic?"

"Y-yes.. I do."

"So you're ugly and teach the most boring subject on the planet! Ha!"

"I hardly find this appropriate.. Please, just let me through to see the Headmaster."

"What does the Headmaster have to say to a ghost, anyway? You're dead, man! Now SCRAM." The Gargoyle began cackling even harder as Professor Binns floated down the corridor once again with ghostly tears in his eyes. (1)

It was dinner in the great hall, and let me tell you! There were many rumors dealing with the Gargoyle's new attitude- from students and teachers alike! This is why Dumbledore stood up to make an announcement.

"Attention! As most of you know, someone," He looked directly at the marauders with a twinkle in his eyes. "charmed the Gargoyle in front of my office to make, ahem, hurtful comments to those who try and enter. We ask those to please reverse it immediately. Also, History if Magic has been cancelled for this week due to Professor Binns needing a small vacation." He sat down and proceeded to enjoy his meal.

**Somewhere in a broom closet, far far away**

"Well my boys, I we're here to discuss Severus's first prank. Begin!" James declared.

"I think it went very well. Think of it, no History of Magic this week! At all!" Sirius exclaimed. He was practically hopping.

"Padfoot, please quit hopping! You almost killed my little toe!" Remus whined.

"Sorry Moony!" Sirius replied.

"Boys, focus!" Peter said. "Now, how do you think Sev's prank went?"

"It was a huge success." Remus said.

"So.. What does this all mean?" Severus asked. He still felt shifty about the marauders. _What if I turn around and suddenly they decide to, oh I don't know, throw me in the lake! _

"It means, silly Severus, that you are officially a member of the marauders." James said with pride.

"What if it hadn't been a success..?" Severus timidly asked.

"Well then, we would've thrown you in the lake." Remus stated without batting an eyelash. Sirius, Peter and James all nodded in agreement.

"So, does this mean I get a silly nickname?" Severus jokingly said.

"Severus, this is EXACTLY what it means." Sirius said, well seriously.

"Oh no.."

Te Be Continued…

A/N- Well, did you like it? I hope you did and gosh I'm nervous! _ I mean, I liked it. And yeah.. I just wanna make you guys laugh! :3 So please, tell me if I should continue, adding a couple more chapters with more Catastrophes- AHEM! "Adventures" of the Marauders. (: Danke Schon for reading!

(1) I'm sorry about the semi-seriousness of this little scene. I hope you guys don't hate me for being a little mean to Binns! I actually love him, fellow history buff and what not.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N- Well it's 2:06 AM so that means it must be time to insert the next silly chapter into our Collection of Catastrophes! **_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own.**_

"_**So. Should we tell him?" James looked around at his fellow marauders. Sirius nodded his head eagerly. Peter agreed. Remus was apprehensive, but alas, logic won and he agreed with the others. **_

"_**You already know Remus is a werewolf right?" Asked Peter. Tact wasn't his specialty. **_

_**Severus shrugged, but then nodded. He hadn't known the specifics, but was indeed aware of the condition and had been for a long time. **_

"_**Well, we have another marauder secret, so sit down." Sirius said. He was so giddy! Like an overenthusiastic puppy. **_

"_**Well? What is it?" Severus asked.**_

"_**We're animagi!" James blurted.**_

"_**Prongs! I wanted to tell him!" Sirius pouted. **_

"_**Sorry, Padfoot." **_

"_**Wait. What does this have to do with your nicknames?" Severus was dumbfounded. This was quite a bit to take in. **_

"_**It has EVERYTHING to do with them!" Peter retorted. For a marauder, Severus sure was dumb**_**, he thought. **

"**I'm a stag, hence the name Prongs." James explained. **

"**And Sirius is a big black dog. Peter is a mouse-"**

"**No! I'm a rat! Get it right, Prongs!" Peter interrupted.**

"**Right. Mouse, Rat, same thing! And well, Remus here is a werewolf so.."**

"**So they came up with Moony." Remus finished. **

"**Hm. Did that one take long?" Severus said sarcastically.**

"**Ugh, the LONGEST." Sirius replied. And he wasn't kidding. **

"**Oh…" **

"**Right, well. We can't officially give you a nickname until you're an animagus too.."**

"**What if I don't want to be one? Are you guys even legally registered?" Severus may have been a Slytherin, a marauder Slytherin at that, but he wasn't going to break the law. Not for these idiots, lovable idiots, but still idiots. **

"**Minor details, Sevie Sev Sev." Sirius said off handedly. **

"**WAIT. SIRIUS, WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Remus yelled, very loudly. This was unusual for the typically quiet boy. **

"**Minor details?" **

"**No! The other thing!" He said. **

"**Sevie Sev Sev?" **

"**That's it! He doesn't have to become an animagus! We already have a wonderful nickname for him!" Remus exclaimed, clearly excited.**

"**Sevie Sev Sev… I like it!" James shouted.**

"**Me too." Peter agreed, not much to anyone's surprise. **

"**Sevie.. Sev. Sev?" Severus asked. **

"**Yup." Remus said proudly. **

"**Well. It's better than Snivellous." Severus said. **

"**Quite! That was an abomination.." Sirius agreed. He seemed to have forgotten that it was he who gave Severus that nickname to begin with. **

"**Well, fellow Marauders, I believe this meeting adjourned." James said. "Thank you for coming, Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, Sevie Sev Sev."**

_**I think I'm going to get beat up by someone if they ever say that in public, **_**Thought Sevie Sev Sev, bemused. **_**Oh well.. This year is shaping up to be an… Interesting one. **_

**A/N- I know! It's incredibly short, but I like it. What should the next chapter be about? We've got the first prank, the nickname.. What else should their be? :D **

**Oh, & thank you for reviewing! That was so sweet. Oh? You didn't review? Well.. This is awkward. Ahem.. Thank you for reading! **


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